“Pa's Failing Faculties”

Pa paid six dollars for a hat; ma thinks he's lost his mind; It's lined with silk and one of those brown, softish, woolly kind; He brought it home the other night and kept it on a while; Before she found out what it cost ma kind of liked its style, But when pa told her what he paid she sank down in a chair, And said: "Pa, every day you get more foolish, I declare! "I shouldn't think," she said, "that you would waste your cash like that! Nobody but a fool would pay six dollars for a hat! The children need new overcoats; their shoes are shabby, too; Sometimes you make it hard for me to keep respectin' you; Think of the many ways I try to save day after day; And here you go and waste the cash in such a foolish way! "If we had millions, I should be the last one to complain, But here we live from hand to mouth—it's just a constant strain! I must deny myself the things I often wish I had, And then you buy a hat like that—it simply is too bad! Six dollars merely thrown away! It fills me with the blues— Six dollars for a hat! Enough to buy two pair of shoes!" Pa sat and listened for a while as though he felt ashamed, And pretty soon he says: "Well, I'll admit I should be blamed; Six dollars for a hat's too much; I'll take it back, but, say, How much did that one cost that you brought home the other day?" Ma left the room and we could see a tear roll down her cheek; She's worried over pa and thinks his mind is gettin' weak.