Daisy Armentrout,  “A Senior's View of the Faculty”

I would tell you a tale of our faculty Could I perchance get you to see The different things they do and say. So harken, people, to my lay! Magister, quantas calamitas! "My word!" I hear Miss Nethery cry. In the Spanish Club, the long patient grace of That sweet little teacher is tried. See the long line waiting! Oh, can it be They wait and wait for admission blanks? So near Violet and yet—so far— But getting one, each nods his thanks. One would like now to know how a boy could get Into class without Kirby's O. K. You all know Miss Poole is Hamlet's friend! And such good staff members has she to sway. Mr. Gill many hints 'n good advice might give To students in matters of bonds or stock, Megchelsen's advice to the very young Is "Bye low, bye low—and rock." Mr. Wright is the king of the chemistry lab.— While coach a light occupation holds. Dod reigns in math, physics and so, And Loeffler teaches angles, squares and molds. Using monstrous words in the History class, Miss Craig all in vain does try Thus to teach the classes about wars and such, And Miss Merrick meanwhile shows us how to dye. In our Pless—ant music we're way off pitch, At least so our director says— "Accelerate with me," she sings—oh, dear! How oft we try—till nearly dead! And do you know how chic the exhibits are In Miss Zika's typing-class display? Our Mr. Paulson flivvers the country 'round, And keeps the boys after school to go riding (?) I'm told. I should like to tell a few things more— The bugs Miss Reeder searches for, But the "skeleton in Miss Evert's closet" might, oh, Perchance hop right out through the door! In English Miss Brockman talks, Miss Burton has the public speaking class; Miss Merridith endeavors with dignity The Seniors to inflate, enmasse. Miss Solomon is the Dean of girls, And writes admission slips for fun (?) Mr. Purcell's the coach of the "lightweight crew" This said, Mr. Davis, my tale is done.